Haunted Pieces That I Am
by NeedAUsernameWhyNotZoidberg
Summary: What if Johanna Mason wasn't always such a badass? What would happen if something forced her to snap? After her first Games, Johanna Mason did some things that will haunt her forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Another one-shot written for Tumblr. Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I own zip. **

"Stop! Get off of me!" I scream, clawing at the hands of a tall, muscular, Capitol man. His arms close around me tightly.

"It will be easier for both of us if you don't do that, Johanna Mason," he whispers in my ear, flicking out a tongue to draw my earlobe in his mouth. I rip my head away, making him growl and push me onto the bed in his fancy Capitol suite. "Shut up and take off your clothes," he orders, pulling at the buttons on his shirt. I'm frozen in utter horror and can only watch as he strips down to his boxers. His underwear is tented and I look away in disgust, my heart racing.

"I don't know how!" I panic, clenching my teeth as he presses his lips to mine. "I'd be useless! This wouldn't be good for you!"

The man just grins at me and runs his fingers across my stomach. "We have all night, Ms. Mason," he purrs, leaning down to skim his finger against my underwear. "You will learn."

* * *

I emerge from the Capitol suite dripping red. My hand is clutching on to shards of the champagne bottle that the man made me drink from. I drop them on the white carpet and stagger to the nearest elevator, my mind reeling. The reflective doors of the elevator allow me to see myself for the first time. I'm covered in sticky, scarlet, blood. It runs down my face and over my naked body. It covers my bruises from that man and the marks where his lips sucked on my skin.

You would have never guessed that the only blood that actually belongs to me is the stream trickling down between my legs.

* * *

"Johanna? Johanna are you alright?"

Finnick's voice is loud in my ear but I can barely hear him.

"They're all dead," I moan, clutching his silken suit. He looks at me in alarm but I just squeeze the fabric tighter. "They're all fucking dead!"

Finnick steers me away from the cameras outside the Mentor's Hall and into the lobby. Sounds of mentors betting on each tribute and making deals with sponsors echoes down the hallway. "I know, Jo but they're alright now. They're okay." His hand reaches out to pull me closer and I let him stroke my hair. Before I know it I'm sobbing.

"He was only three years old! He was three years old and now he's dead!" The memory of my youngest brother washes over me like a suffocating blanket.

"I know," Finnick replies, moving me out of the way of the drunk mentor from District Twelve. We end up by the shiny silver elevators. All of a sudden my tears stop and I push Finnick away, staring into the haunted brown eyes of my reflection. Finnick tries to call me back but I stare mutely at myself.

Suddenly everything bleeds together and I'm red again. A sing song voice starts a chant in my head.

_They're dead. _

_They're dead. _

_They're dead. _

I press my nose against the elevators and giggle.

_They're dead!_

_They're dead!_

_They're dead!_

My slight figure shakes with mirth as I laugh my head off. Finnick comes up behind me and I suddenly spin around and grab his hands, twirling around him in a circle. "But he's dead too!" I shout gleefully, jumping up and down. "He's dead too! I killed him, Finnick! I killed him!" I'm so full of utter joy I grab Finnick by the collar and kiss him full on the mouth. He tastes like sugar and I moan happily, holding on to him tighter.

"Johanna, stop!" he orders, pushing me away. But I keep kissing him. I can't stop. Suddenly the elevator doors open and Annie Cresta strolls out, fresh from her arena. She must have escaped from the underground hospital ward, looking for Finnick. Finnick's eyes widen and he struggles to push me away, but I'm holding him so tightly that not even the combined strength of both him and Annie can tear me off him. during the struggle I catch sight of my reflection again and suddenly I'm screaming, separating myself away from Finnick so fast I might as well have been shot.

"Don't hurt me!" I scream at him, backing into a corner. He says something quickly to Annie who nods. I ignore her. "Don't you touch me or I'll kill you!" I scream, scooping dirt from a plotted plant up and hurling it at him.

"Jo, I'm never going to hurt you," he says calmly lifting up his hands, but I don't believe him for a second.

"Stay back!" I command, glaring at him. "Don't you try kissing me again or I'll rip your throat out!"

Finnick starts saying something else but I bolt away- straight into the waiting arms of Peacekeepers. They scoop me up like a rag doll and carry me back to the elevators, presumably so they can take me to my room. When we pass Finnick I scream and thrash around, watching in horror as Annie rushes to his side. She covers her ears and rocks back and forth. Right before the elevator doors close something in me snaps, and I call out forlornly to Finnick when his lips touch Annie's gently.

"Finnick, I'm sorry!" I choke out, but I don't think he heard me. Betrayal washes in waves over me when I remember Annie's kiss, and all of a sudden I'm inexplicably angry. The two Peacekeepers stand on either side of me and press the seventh elevator button. Without warning I lash out at the man on my right, stealing the gun from him and aiming at the other Peacekeeper. By the time the elevator beeps open at the seventh floor, I'm completely naked and alone. The doors close behind me and once they do I turn around and look at my reflection.

Once again I'm dripping red.


	2. Chapter 2

**An anon in tumblr asked for a second installment to my one-shot so here it is!** **Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

I leave the bodies of the dead Peacekeepers in the elevator, sprinting the rest of the way to my room. Bloody footprints follow me all the way to my door and inside my suite. I head straight for the bathroom, where I immediately throw up the contents of my stomach into the marble toilet. It takes a full ten minutes before I've finished.

_What have I done?_

Panting, I finally retrieve my head from the toilet bowl and place it in my hands. I rock back and forth on the floor, completely terrified of myself. I just murdered two Peacekeepers. In an elevator. And to top it all off I've left every article of my clothing in the elevator with the bodies.

Tears pour down my face as I relive my past few minutes. The second Peacekeeper was a young man, and he begged for mercy after he saw me shoot his partner in the head.

But I killed him anyway.

I don't know what came over me. I was angry about Finnick and Annie's kiss, yes, but that doesn't justify the killing of two people. It was like the second I was trapped in an elevator with them and my anger, I snapped. I thought that those two Peacekeepers were going to hurt me. Like that man did last year.

For the next couple hours I just lie on the floor in my bathroom, refusing to get up for anything. Occasionally I'll burst into laughter when I think of the Peacekeeper's scarlet blood, and how it felt running through my hands. And other times I cry, terrified of the monster inside me. The one that laughs at the thought of killing other human beings.

Finally I run to the shower, scrubbing off every trace of the Peacekeeper's blood from my body. I coated it all over myself in the elevator, the same way the man's blood covered me when I killed him last year.

It takes over an hour in the shower before I can stomach the thought of getting out and getting dressed. When I finally do, I fling open the bathroom door and then stop in my tracks.

President Snow is sitting on my bed.

Immediately I scream, backing into a corner by the bathroom. The old man just looks at me and smiles, cocking his head from side to side.

"Well, Ms. Mason," he says calmly, "I suppose this is one way to greet your president. Tell me. Are you _always _naked?"

This is the man who killed everyone I held dear to world, sent me into the Hunger Games, and arranged for a man to rape me for money. And he has the gall to talk to me this way? I cover my ears and sink to the floor, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Or do you only enjoy stripping yourself of clothing when you commit murder?" His voice is silky and indifferent, but it's loud enough for me to still hear through my hands.

"G-go a-away," I stutter, letting a few tears slip down my cheeks. "G-get out." Nothing good comes with the presence of this man.

Gentle laughter cascades from his mouth, and I open my eyes to find him only a foot away, and squatting down to my level. He throws a set of clothes at me, but I just pull my towel tighter around myself. "Ms. Mason, I did not come here to have you tell me to leave." He stands up and turns around. "Get dressed."

I stand up only to find that I'm shaking. Fear piles in the pit of my stomach as I get dressed, and when I'm done he turns around and joins me on the bed. As soon as he sits I shoot to my feet. He raises one large, white eyebrow at me.

"I-I make a habit of not sitting on beds with men," I choke out nervously, and President Snow gives me a snake-like smile.

"My apologies," he says, and for a moment he sounds truly sorry. "I should have known." I just stare at him and the smile drops from his lips. "I understand you killed two of my Peacekeepers today. You must know that you can't go without... repercussions."

I gasp and some more tears slip from my eyes. I open my mouth to speak but he holds up a finger. "Now, don't try to defend yourself," he says, examining his fingernails. I already know you did it. And I don't even want to know why. I'm only here to tell you what those repercussions are."

My throat is like sandpaper and it's taking all of my willpower not to zone out like I usually do. "W-what..." I choke, but the President cuts me off.

"I assume you know who Annie Cresta is?"

My stomach drops to my feet and I nod brokenly.

"Ah, good. That saves time," he says, and walks towards the door. He reaches the doorknob before I realize he's leaving.

"Wait!" I shout, "What are you doing to her?!"

President Snow smiles and glances at my bed. "Let's just say, my dear Ms. Mason, that before the night is through Ms Cresta might also make it a habit not to sit on beds with men."

Horror plays across my face and President Snow just looks at me curiously and with malevolent interest. "But she's only seventeen!" I shout, taking a few steps closer to him. "Please! No! Why her!?"

"Were you not also seventeen last year when you won the Games and killed a Capitol citizen? Was Finnick Odair not that age when he won the year before?" I clench my fist as Snow continues to stare at me. "Hurting Annie Cresta will definitely hurt Finnick Odair, which will in turn, hurt you. _That _is why I chose Annie Cresta, Ms. Mason." Snow nods at me then heads out the door. "Take this as a warning," he says icily when he steps into the hall. "Do this again and I'll put you in Annie Cresta's place." The door slams shut.

I spend ten minutes trembling on the floor before I throw up. I wipe the corners of my mouth and when I'm certain Snow is no longer in the hallway, I sprint out of my suite and up to the thirteenth floor, where Victors are taken each night to please a Capitol citizen. There's only one room up here, and Annie, if Snow was telling me the truth, is behind the door. Stealthily I walk up to the door and open it. High-pitched wails combined with the sound of men's laughter assault my ears, and when I poke my head in the door I almost scream myself. Sure enough, Annie Cresta, who was in an arena just yesterday, is flat on her back on a king size bed. Surprisingly she's not kicking or thrashing, just begging in tears for the two men who are ripping her clothes off to stop. They laugh at her and hold her down, and before I can see any more, I close the door. I crawl over to the corner of the hall by the elevators and curl into a ball, rocking back and forth. There's nothing I can do for Annie. If I stop those men, I'll just be in her place tomorrow.

I can't be in her place.

For the rest of the night I stare at the wall across from me, listening as muffled grunts and cries leak under the door. After a while I try tuning them out, unable to leave from my corner.

It doesn't work.

An eternity later the door opens and I flinch. It must be morning. Annie Cresta falls out of the door, wearing a blue floral dress with a tear down the front. She holds it together with her hands and stares blankly ahead, mumbling under her breath. She doesn't even notice me. Her face is bruised and her skin is covered in marks from the men's fists and lips. I cringe as she walks straight by me and to the elevator, and that's when I see it. A thin stream of red trickling down her legs from under her dress. She steps into the elevator and right before the door closes she falls to her knees, pressing her hands to her ears and rocking back and forth. Just like I do.

She let's out a strangled sob and I think I'm able to make out a word.

"Finnick..." she cries.

The elevator doors close.


End file.
